To Be...Or Not To Be

My oh my, this year has already been filled with ups and downs and its not even February yet! Okay, things have not been that bad (how can it be when I'm planning a wedding!?). It mostly has to do with the job front. At this point, the industry is super duper slow and the insecurities I have concerning my job seems to be the only thing that is secure at this point. I've heard that stress is something you bring on yourself, but seriously - I have absolute NO control over any of this and its stressing me out! I hate feeling that at any moment, I can be out on my ass looking for another job - again. The last couple years, I've been contemplating on if this civil engineering career path I have taken is really what I'm supposed to do in life. Is my purpose to be...or not to be an engineer? Being a very logical and analytical person, I very well could be an excellent engineer. When times are good, meaning nice and steady, and sometimes even busy, I love it, I'm productive, I'm a designing machine. However, I often feel lonely and bored sitting at my computer and punching numbers these days when there is nothing to motivate, nothing to do, we have to hurry up and finish what we're doing just to sit and wait for the next task to come. Sometimes I wonder if its the company or the people I work with. I miss the people I used to work with, but then I remember certain reasons why I left in the first place. Right now, I have too much time to think about it all. In April, I'm going to test to get licensed and I'm going to hang in there to pass that exam, and then I'm going to continue to hang on until I can't any longer, then I will consider something else if I need to. At this time, all I can do is plan for the worst and hope for the best in these tough times for all...